I had my confirmation blood test today and it was still negative. It’s official. Our little embryo didn’t take. I’m completely devastated. I really thought this work, and I never allowed myself to think of the alternative. I know, bad idea, but I just didn’t want to let the negative thoughts in. It was as though I thought if I kept a positive attitude, I could will the final result to be positive, but that obviously wasn’t the case. So… what do we do now? Good question. I honestly don’t know. We have an appointment with Dr. J on Wednesday to discuss our options, but I just don’t know what we can handle anymore, financially or emotionally. So we’ll see. For tonight, I’m drinking some wine because I can and trying to not think about the future and what we should do right now. I just need a night where I’m not thinking about having a baby, or all my losses or anything. I’m tired of it all. Thank you everyone for all your love and support. I feel a little stronger dealing with all of this now then I have in the past with all my losses and other…Continue reading Officially Not Pregnant
Tag: Negative Beta
Negative Beta and Feeling Lost
Thank you everyone for all your love and support over the past few days. I wish I had better news to share, but unfortunately I don’t. It’s official, the blood test was negative today. I knew as soon as I heard the nurse’s voice that it was bad news. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. But at least I wasn’t surprised. Even though she discouraged me from testing on my own, at least it allowed me to be prepared for the final result. Well almost final result. As if this wasn’t bad enough, I have to go back in on Monday and re test, “just in case”. Although it’s very unlikely, there’s still a small possibility that I could have a late implantation and we have to wait to confirm. So this means, I have to wait some more and still have to use the messy progesterone suppositories and I still have to act pregnant, even though all I want to do is drown myself in a bottle of wine right now. I feel so lost right now. This was our one chance. I have no idea what to do now. After Monday’s confirmation, we’ll meet with Dr.…Continue reading Negative Beta and Feeling Lost