Tomorrow Holdon would have been 7 years old. How has so much time gone by already? And yet a day doesn’t go by that I don’t remember every detail of that day on April 6th, 2010 like it was yesterday. He shouldn’t have been born that day. He wasn’t due to be born until June 26th. But HELLP Syndrome happened to me and he was delivered via emergency c-section at just 27 weeks, 5 days. I was told I had to deliver immediately or I could die and Holdon was in distress, having not grown at all since 24 weeks. He was severely premature, made even worse by severe growth restriction, and a perforation in his small intestine on top of it all. He had to have surgery at only 1 day old to remove the necrotic tissues of the small intestine that had perforated and was left with only 25%. The odds of survival were stacked up against him from the start. The fact that he lived for 3 1/2 months in the NICU is truly amazing and testament to how strong and amazing our little boy was. Time goes on and a lot has changed. It took…Continue reading Tomorrow
Tag: HELLP Syndrome
Quick Update – 26 Weeks 2 Days
Today I’m 26 weeks 2 days and only 5 days away from starting my third trimester! I can’t believe it! We had another OB appointment today and all was perfect 🙂 Little man is still measuring ahead and starting to get some super cute, chubby cheeks that we can actually see on the regular non 3D ultrasound. In fact he’s got quite a lot of cute baby fat everywhere now and is measuring almost a full 2 weeks ahead. It’s no wonder I’m looking and feeling so huge these days. I feel like I have to hold onto my belly while I’m doing my prenatal exercises because it’s starting to get heavy! I can’t imagine how big I’m going to be after these last 3 months! The other major thing that happened today is we booked our tentative c-section date. As of right now, it’s scheduled for Dec 30th. For some reason, my doctor’s office goes by the LMP for dating even though my ultrasounds have all been showing baby consistently ahead and they even told me my due date changed to January 3rd at one of my early appointments so that’s what I’ve been going with. And now, as…Continue reading Quick Update – 26 Weeks 2 Days
Blood Work is Good
This is just a quick update to let you all know my blood work all came back today and everything was within the normal range for pregnancy so there’s no evidence of HELLP at this time. Phew! I’m so relieved! Thank you for all your comments and prayers yesterday. I had a crazy day so haven’t had a chance to reply to all of you yet or read any of your posts from today, but I will soon! Lots of love and hugs <3 Here are a few pins about HELLP I found on pinterest the other night when I couldn’t sleep…
Worrying for Nothing?
I had a bit of a scare the past week, but hopefully everything is okay! Since last Monday, I’ve been feeling some pressure/pain in my upper abdomen on and off. If you’ve read my page about my first pregnancy, you’ll know that pain in my upper abdomen was my first symptom that I was really sick and had HELLP Syndrome. I had never had heartburn before and mistook the symptom for heartburn for almost 2 weeks. It wasn’t until after my emergency c-section that the doctors told me that pain in the upper abdomen is a symptom of HELLP and a sign that my liver was shutting down. So, when I started to feel discomfort in my upper abdomen this week, I kind of started freaking out. My husband suggested we should go to emergency, but it eased and pretty much went away after I laid down. I decided to see how I felt the next day. If it persisted, I would call my doctor, but since it was gone when I woke up, I figured it was just another side effect of the lovely indigestion I’ve been experiencing lately. I felt reassured that it was an isolated incident and…Continue reading Worrying for Nothing?
Quick Update
This is just a super quick update to let you all know our appointment with Dr. S went well today. Little man was really active and looked great. We’ll know for sure after our anatomy scan, but she said everything on her machine looked just perfect. Those were her exact words “everything looks perfect” 🙂 Phew! Just when I thought I was feeling more relaxed, fear and anxiety reared their ugly heads again last night and prevented me from sleeping a wink. So hearing her say, “he looks perfect” was such a relief. Fingers crossed and lots and lots of prayers that she’s right and all is just perfect at our anatomy scan too. The scan is on Monday afternoon at Radiology. Dr. S said the technician will likely not say too much to us about the results, but that she will get the report within a day or two and that she should have the results for me by Wednesday. So… we shall see. Eek! I’m so nervous. Please, please let everything be okay! Another concern I have, though this is much less important, is with the scan itself. I got a letter in the mail from the Radiology…Continue reading Quick Update
4 Years
Today is the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost Holdon. It’s hard to believe it’s been 4 years because it feels like it was just yesterday to me. On this day, I don’t really have too much to say except I miss you Holdon. Every single day of those 4 years, you have been missed. Mommy and Daddy love you, always and forever <3 Below is my post from Holdon’s 4th birthday on April 6th. I wanted to re-post it today in his memory. You will never be forgotten Holdon <3 [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYI-16QeX54&w=560&h=315] View video in YouTube: In Loving Memory of Our Son Holdon – YouTube. On April 6th, 2010 at 1:38 PM, our son Holdon was born 3 months early due to a dangerous pregnancy condition called HELLP Syndrome, a variant of preeclampsia. He lived for 3 ½ months in the NICU. We named him Holdon with a second “o” so it would spell “hold on”, and he did. He held on every day of his precious life. He fought so hard, but in the end it was too much. On July 14th, 2010, we were told there was nothing more the doctors could…Continue reading 4 Years
I AM A HELLP Survivor – Preeclampsia Awareness Month
I am a HELLP Syndrome survivor too. A fellow blogger posted this on her blog today and I had to share it. I survived, but my son Holdon did not. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t still feel his loss and the after effects of this terrible condition of pregnancy. Mommy This Mommy That’s post… I just wanted to put out there that my daughter and I are HELLP survivors. I saw that May is preeclampsia awareness month. Everywhere I’ve read there are different definitions for HELLP. Some say you get help after you are diagnosed with preeclampsia. Other places say it’s a severe form of preeclampsia. According to the American pregnancy.org website HELLP syndrome defined “HELLP Syndrome is a series of symptoms that make up a syndrome that can affect pregnant women. HELLP syndrome is thought to be a variant of preeclampsia, but it may be an entity all on its own. There are still many questions about the serious condition of HELLP syndrome. The cause is still unclear to many doctors and often HELLP syndrome is misdiagnosed. It is believed that HELLP syndrome affects about 0.2 to 0.6 percent of all pregnancies.” To read…Continue reading I AM A HELLP Survivor – Preeclampsia Awareness Month
A Quick Getaway
Thank you everyone for all your love, thoughts and prayers this past weekend. I was overwhelmed with emotion reading all your comments on here yesterday, as well as all the comments I received on Facebook. One of my biggest fears, as time goes on, is that Holdon will be forgotten. However, I see now how impossible that is. We are so blessed to have so many people in our lives who love us and love Holdon, and I just know he was looking down at all of us and smiling at all the love he was feeling on his special day. Morro Bay, California Our weekend plans didn’t go exactly as we envisioned, but it was still very relaxing and good to get away. We had a party to go to on Saturday night, so we planned on leaving early on Sunday morning and getting into Morro Bay early enough to still enjoy the day, stay the night, then spend all day there the next day and drive back on Monday evening. Well, I was in a bit of funk on Saturday night with Holdon’s birthday the next day, and ended up drinking more than I wanted to at the…Continue reading A Quick Getaway
WTF is My Body Doing?
It’s been such a crazy time lately and I’ve been so out of touch with this blog. I’ve been reading all my fellow bloggers posts and commenting when I have time, but have been completely neglecting my own blog. To recap, last cycle we got pregnant and had a chemical pregnancy that ended just a few days after I first saw a positive pregnancy test. It was my 5th loss in less than 4 years. It all happened so fast, and while my parents were visiting, so I didn’t have time to process it at all. Then, just 4 days later, my college roommate and her husband flew in for a long weekend. It was great to spend time with them but it was a whirlwind weekend of shopping and site-seeing with only a short break on the beach last Saturday to enjoy the 85 degree weather, and then a Saint Patrick’s Day party on Sunday that lasted all day in the hot sun. We continued the party at our house and only got a short nap in before seeing our friends off to the airport at 4AM on Monday morning. We barely got back to sleep when we were…Continue reading WTF is My Body Doing?
Feeling Down But Still Believe In Miracles
Did anybody else see the story on the news this morning about a woman in Indiana who went to the hospital with stomach pains thinking she had severe appendicitis or gall bladder stones and was told she was in labor? She had no idea she was pregnant until her water broke in the ER. Seriously?! What the F? I was completely stunned watching this and burst into angry tears upon hearing it. How on earth can this happen? That poor baby. Who knows what the stupid B did in the 9 months while she was carrying him. She honestly thought she had just put on extra winter weight! Who can be that stupid?! Am I the only one who’s furious about this? The people on the news reporting on the story didn’t seem to be. They talked about it like it was the funniest thing in the world. I’m sorry, there’s nothing funny about this story. It’s unbelievable to me that this can happen, and yet this isn’t the first time I’ve heard stories like this. It’s so unfair! So many of us are so cautious during pregnancy that we barely breathe for fear it will cause a miscarriage, and…Continue reading Feeling Down But Still Believe In Miracles