Today is 3dp5dt (3 days past 5 day [blastocyst] transfer). Well actually it’s the 4th day since my transfer, but it seems that the first day is counted as day 0, or at least that’s what the consensus seems to be on all the sites I’ve looked at. What does this really mean? Not too much yet. I still have 4 days until my first beta, but I really have a good feeling about this. Quite literally – I’m already feeling stuff! The first 2 days, I just felt really tired. The first day was probably from lying around all day after my transfer, but then we drove out to Temecula on Saturday for our friends’ wedding and even though I did absolutely nothing except sit in the car, and then sit at the wedding (I didn’t even dance), I felt exhausted all day. The wedding was so beautiful. It took place at the Wilson Creek Winery and it was absolutely magical. However, it was hard for me to fully enjoy it because I was so tired, and it’s always weird being the only sober person in a room. So I left the festivities at 10:30 when the wedding was…Continue reading 3dp5dt FET
Tag: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Transfer Day
Today was finally my transfer day! I woke up an hour before my alarm today, but I actually slept last night. I think I got up once to pee, but otherwise slept straight through until 6am. It was so great to go into today’s appointment feeling rested and calm. Then when I got to the clinic, my acupuncturist was already there and waiting for me so I didn’t have to wait at all. She took me to the same treatment room that my transfer would happen in, but it was set up all zen-like with soft music, a pretty screen, and there was even a sofa and a sitting chair. It felt more like a cozy sitting room than a procedure room. So I had no problem getting comfortable and actually fell asleep within minutes! I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t sleep at all before both retrievals, but had no problem last night and today! Then my acupuncturist came back in and let me empty some of my bladder so I wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. I was thankful to be able to do so. I’ve heard some pretty awful stories of some clinics not letting you pee at all and…Continue reading Transfer Day
TWW Days 4 and 5 and the Day Before the Big Day
Tomorrow is transfer day! Woohoo! I’m so excited and anxious, I can barely contain it. In just a couple of hours, I’ll go to sleep (please let me sleep), and when I wake up, I’ll finally be going in for my transfer! We have one normal embryo. Our one shot at this, our little embie girl. To say there’s a lot riding on this is an understatement, but I have so much optimism that this is going to work. Please, please let me be right. I honestly don’t know how I’ll be if it doesn’t, but I can’t think about that right now. Right now, I only have room in my thoughts for her. For that single rose blooming on that vine. She is our little bloom and I just feel in my heart that this is going to work. And at least I know I have done everything I could to make it work. The rest is out of our hands. The plan for tomorrow I’ll empty my bladder before I leave the house. Then I have acupuncture at my fertility clinic at 9:30. Then once acupuncture is done, I’ll start drinking water to get a full bladder, and…Continue reading TWW Days 4 and 5 and the Day Before the Big Day
Love . Faith . Hope
My painting is finished! It only took me 3 years to finish, but it’s finally out of my head and on the canvas! In the summer of 2011, one year after the death of my son, I purchased this canvas and started this painting. I started it for Holdon. I wanted to capture all my memories and thoughts of him. I began by sketching out my ideas on the canvas in pencil and put enough paint on the canvas to outline the infinity symbol, but then I became pregnant again and even though I only paint in acrylic and it’s supposed to be non-toxic, I was scared to continue painting, especially in the first trimester. So I put the painting on hold. Then I had my first miscarriage, and I hit such a low place, I couldn’t bring myself to work on it anymore. I didn’t want all the bitter energy I was feeling to be reflected in it. So I put everything away, and promised myself I would come back to it when I was in a better place. It took a long time to get to that better place. Just when I would feel like I was ready…Continue reading Love . Faith . Hope
FET Progesterone Day 3 / 2WW – Care Package #3
Today’s package was a really special gift. It was a small journal with pink fur and hearts on it. My dear friend had no way of knowing that our embryo would be a girl, and yet the little book is so obviously girlie. I think it’s a really good sign that this little girl embtyo is meant to be. Inside the book, my friend inscribed the following: Legend says, when you can’t sleep at night, it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream. My dreams are for you in this journey. Love you my dear friend. I have several journals that I’ve written in about all my pregnancies, as well as all the moments of trying in between. This is perfect because you can never have enough journals! And I know I’m going to have many sleepless nights in the upcoming weeks (months) while I wait to find out if this works and I think this little book will be the perfect place to write down all the thoughts that are keeping me up. I love the idea that someone else is dreaming about me and for me on those sleepless nights. Package #3 Quote: “When the world says ‘Give…Continue reading FET Progesterone Day 3 / 2WW – Care Package #3
FET is a go!!!
First of all, thank you all for your support and encouragement, and thank you especially to those of you who checked in with me before my appointment today to wish me well. All your positive thoughts and wishes have really helped me through this long wait! I’m sorry I took all day to report back on my appointment. I just haven’t had a spare moment to sit down and write until now! I had a lunch date with a couple girlfriends after my appointment, then I had several errands to run, and work to do when I got back home. Then I was finally sitting down to write my update about an hour ago when my hubby got home from work and distracted me. He’s off to a weekend long bachelor party camping trip up at Big Bear Mountain so I wanted to spend a few minutes with him before he left. He was so happy he was practically giddy. He walked in the house and picked me up off the couch and asked “We’re good?”. He already knew because I had texted him earlier in the day, but and I laughed and said, “Yes, we’re good! We’re a go!”,…Continue reading FET is a go!!!
FET Schedule
I met with Dr. J today, and everything looked good on the ultrasound and blood test, so we’re a go! Here’s the schedule the nurse gave me: Jan 8th – Jan 13th: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning and night (2/day- orally) Jan 14th – 18th: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning, noon and night (3/day – orally) Jan 17th: Monitoring Appointment to make sure I didn’t ovulate. Dr. J said 85% of women taking estrogen won’t ovulate. We want me to NOT ovulate. If I do ovulate, even on the estrogen, we’ll have to stop this cycle and start over next cycle, but with suppressant injections of Lupron. Why not just do the suppressant injections now? I asked Dr. J this and he said he would rather not give me any more hormones then necessary so we’re trying just the estrogen for now. So fingers crossed the estrogen works and I don’t ovulate! If I don’t ovulate, then we’ll continue with the cycle with the following protocol: Jan 19th – until determined: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning and night (2/day – orally) 200 mg Progesterone capsules morning, noon and night (3/day – vaginally) Jan 22nd Azithromycin – to prevent infection from…Continue reading FET Schedule
Cycle Day 1 – Woohoo!
Today is cycle day 1, thank you! I started to get a little nervous yesterday, when AF didn’t show up, but one day late is fine! I’ll take it! I have an appointment with Dr. J tomorrow to do a baseline ultrasound to make sure everything looks good before we proceed. If all is good, we’ll start preparing me for my FET (frozen embryo transfer). Fingers crossed! At this point, I know I’ll begin taking estrogen orally and start using progesterone suppositories. These will help thicken my uterine lining and get me ready for the transfer. I think it will also help prevent me from ovulating so we can just go straight to the transfer, but I’m not completely certain how all that will work yet. I already have the meds read to go, I just need to know when I’ll be starting. I will discuss this along with the complete plan with Dr. J at my appointment tomorrow. When I spoke with him last month, he said we would need about 18 days to build my lining to the right thickness for the transfer, so if all goes according to plan (please, please), then we should good to do…Continue reading Cycle Day 1 – Woohoo!
My Last Miscarriage
Today is the due date for pregnancy #4 and miscarriage #3. It was the last miscarriage I had, and I pray it truly is the last. Two weeks ago, when I talked about miscarriage #2, I dreaded today and thinking about miscarriage #3, but now that it’s here, I’m strangely okay. I think I have to credit it to my last minute change of attitude towards my birthday. Yesterday I turned 37. For months I have been dreading it. It’s not because of getting older. That has never really bothered me and I’ve always felt pretty young at heart (though the toll all these losses has taken out on my body and emotions has made me feel ancient at times), but when you’re trying to build a family, every year that goes by and every year you age, counts. Almost exactly this time last year, I had the go ahead to start trying again after my hysteroscopy and 8-month long drawn out process from miscarriage #2, and now it’s been another year, and another loss. The fact that I had another miscarriage in that time and the due date is the day after my birthday, had me in quite a…Continue reading My Last Miscarriage
A Relaxing Holiday
The past week has been good. Quiet, but relaxing and peaceful. Our family is scattered all over the place with my husband’s parents visiting India right now, his brother in Baltimore, and his sister and my family are all in Canada, so we were on our own for Christmas this year. It’s hard being so far away from family during the Holidays, but with everything going on with us right now, it was nice to be on our own and just relax. We spent a quite Christmas Eve at home with just us and our kitties. We cuddled up on the couch and watched our favorite Christmas movies: It’s a Wonderful Life for my hubby and Miracle of 34th Street for me, and then rounded off the evening with A Christmas Story marathon. We exchanged gifts at midnight and slept in on Christmas morning. Then, after lounging about all morning, we went to a movie in the afternoon and had a lovely dinner with another couple. We had a great meal, played games and just relaxed. It was the laziest Christmas ever. And it was perfect. My lazy Holiday continued through the entire weekend with a few get-togethers with friends and…Continue reading A Relaxing Holiday