Six years ago today (well yesterday now since it’s after midnight), I married the love of my life. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years already and yet we’ve been through so much together in that time, it should feel like a lifetime. It’s a true testament to our relationship that we’ve been through everything we have been, and it still feels like just yesterday that I said I do.

As I think back on it all, I feel truly blessed. I will never forget that magical day, six years ago when we stood up in front of our family and friends and vowed to love each other through better or worse. And we have. I’ll never forget any of it… The amazing trips we’ve taken together so far. Adopting our kitties. The morning I took my first pregnancy test ever and it was positive, and I waking my husband up (pee stick still in hand) and telling him we were pregnant. I’ll never forget the look of sleepy joy he had on his face. I’ll never forget the anxiety and fear we felt when we were told I had to have an emergency c-section at 27 weeks. Or finally getting to hold our tiny son for the first time after 2 months of only being able to only touch him through the incubator arm holes or getting to kiss him on the rare occasions when they had the incubator lid open. I’ll never forget the waterfall of tears we shared when we had to make the impossible decision to take our son off the ventilator, knowing it was the only thing keeping him alive. I’ll never forget my husband saying, if we can survive this together, we can survive anything. I will never forget holding my son for the last time while he took his last breathe, and my husband’s arms around me, protecting me from breaking into a million little pieces and dissolving into a puddle on the hospital floor.

We held each other up as we grieved and tried to move on with our lives. Our journey together continued with an amazing 12 day Caribbean cruise getaway to take our minds of our son’s would-have-been first birthday. And we started trying again. We had more positive pregnancy tests, more joy, more happy memories, then more miscarriages, more sadness, and we’ve held each other up through it all, year after year. Then recently, we’ve had to consider the possibility that we may not be able to have any more children. It’s an impossibly difficult thing to consider, but my amazing husband told me he didn’t marry me for the children we might have together, he married me for me. I want a child so much, but I know that if it doesn’t happen, we’ll be okay. We’ll be sad for a while, but I know we’ll survive it because we have each other, and we have already survived the impossible together. I’m praying so hard that we can share our life with a child, and be able to watch him or her grow into a perfect combination of us, but if it doesn’t happen, we will find other ways to keep our love timeless. We already have.