First things first, I have not heard from Dr. J to tell me how many of my embryos survived to today, 5-day blastocyst, and were biopsied for PGD. He said he wouldn’t call until Tuesday, but I really wish he would give me a status update. I’m so anxious to know how they’re doing. I just keep praying, no news is good news. Tuesday, cannot come fast enough!
On that note, I definitely needed a good distraction today, so I decided to tackle a project that is very dear to me, but I have been avoiding for over 3 years. Shortly before my first miscarriage and a year after we lost our son, I began a painting in memory of him. Then I found out I was pregnant again and stopped painting because I was worried about the paint fumes. I only paint with acrylic paints so they really aren’t toxic, but I worry and didn’t want to take any chances. Then we miscarried and I just wasn’t in the right head space to resume working on it. And then I had another miscarriage and another, and I just never came back to it. So today, I was wondering what to do to keep my mind sidetracked and busy. I looked at a recipe for a 9 layer Christmas Jello that Failing Baby Maker suggested from a recipe posted by Pioneer Woman. I do plan on making this at some point because it looks like so much fun to make and eat, but I really wanted to do something different today. Then I realized this is the perfect time to finish the painting. Since I have to wait a cycle or two to transfer, I have at least 3 weeks to finish it before there’s even a possibility of us becoming pregnant again, and emotionally, I’m ready for it to be done. I guess this is all part of acceptance. It only took me 3 years but I’m getting there!
Attached is a cropped portion of the painting about 1 foot x 1 foot. It’s not complete, but it’s the most complete part of the painting. The entire painting is 3 feet by 4 feet. The rest of the painting is only very roughly laid out right now, so I will reveal it in pieces as I finish different areas of it, and will reveal the entire painting in a couple of weeks when it’s complete.
That is so beautiful, you have so much talent! And, oh my, I can’t believe they are making you wait until Tuesday, I probably would have called or emailed the clinic by now as I wouldn’t be able to take the waiting for that long!
Thanks hon! I know, I’m going crazy! I just don’t know what to do since my Dr said he’d call Tues. I don’t want to be a pain, but you’re right and I should at least email him.
This is incredible. You have such talent! The Christmas jello seems a bit mundane compared to this. Haha! What a meaningful distraction. I love it and can’t wait to see more. Tuesday can’t come soon enough. Sending love south to you!
Thanks hon 🙂
Wow! You certainly have an amazing talent. It’s absolutely beautiful! 🙂 I’d be losing my mine if I had to wait until Tuesday, which I’m sure you are just a bit, but I’m so glad you’ve found such healthy ways to distract yourself! Smart thinking! I said two little prayers just this morning for your little boys or girls! Hoping you have a few strong embryos!
Thank you so much hon! ?
So happy you decided to continue with finishing your painting Jo. It will be beautiful, painted with your heart. Love you sooooo… much.
Thanks mom. Love you soooo much too!