We had the big anatomy scan today. It went well… I think. This is the first scan we’ve had that wasn’t done by our doctor or at least in the obstetrics department and didn’t get the results right away. Due to the technical nature of all the measurements, it had to be done at radiology on one of their higher quality machines and all the results have to be read by a radiologist for accuracy. This is great, but it meant that we had a technician taking all the measurements and although she was very friendly and sweet, she wasn’t allowed to tell us anything. Not so great. The good news is I didn’t pee my pants. I only had to wait in the waiting room for a few minutes past my appointment time and she took pity on me pretty quickly. She took the critical measurements first that required my bladder to be full for greater visibility like the placenta and spine, and then she let me go pee. The rest of the scan was done with the comfort of an empty bladder 🙂 The entire scan took about 45 minutes so I’m really thankful she didn’t make me…Continue reading Anatomy Scan Done But No Answers Yet
Quick Update
This is just a super quick update to let you all know our appointment with Dr. S went well today. Little man was really active and looked great. We’ll know for sure after our anatomy scan, but she said everything on her machine looked just perfect. Those were her exact words “everything looks perfect” 🙂 Phew! Just when I thought I was feeling more relaxed, fear and anxiety reared their ugly heads again last night and prevented me from sleeping a wink. So hearing her say, “he looks perfect” was such a relief. Fingers crossed and lots and lots of prayers that she’s right and all is just perfect at our anatomy scan too. The scan is on Monday afternoon at Radiology. Dr. S said the technician will likely not say too much to us about the results, but that she will get the report within a day or two and that she should have the results for me by Wednesday. So… we shall see. Eek! I’m so nervous. Please, please let everything be okay! Another concern I have, though this is much less important, is with the scan itself. I got a letter in the mail from the Radiology…Continue reading Quick Update
18 Weeks
It’s hard to believe, but I’m 18 weeks pregnant today! It’s even harder to believe I’m only 2 weeks away from reaching the half way point. Where did the time go? With each week that passes, I begin to feel a bit more relaxed with this pregnancy. We’re still 10 weeks away from my big milestone, the 28 week mark so I still have some anxiety, but it’s much better then it was. Reaching 28 weeks is a big milestone for me because I was just shy of 28 weeks when I had to have an emergency c-section with Holdon. At 27 1/2 weeks it all came crashing down. The 28 week point will be the most pregnant I have ever been. Up until now, I hadn’t allowed myself to think that far ahead, but I’m starting to look to it now and have hope that it will be different this time. My SIL and a good friend want to throw me a baby shower on October 18th. I’ll be 29 weeks that day. Both my Mom and my MIL will be visiting along with my SIL at that time, so it’s a really good time to have it. A…Continue reading 18 Weeks
Very Inspiring Blogger Award
Three amazing bloggers, Journey in the Woods, My Perfect Breakdown, and spiritbabycomehome have nominated me for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award. I am truly honored and humbled to have been acknowledged for this award by these three women who have and continue to inspire me. Here’s how the award works: 1. Thank and link the amazing person(s) who nominated you. Done (see above) 🙂 2. List the rules and display the award. Done 🙂 3. Share seven facts about yourself. I’m Canadian, but live in the US now. I grew up in a small town in northern Alberta, Canada of about 15,000 people, and now live in one of the biggest cities in the US. Life sure is weird. I’m a Capricorn. I’m not really that into astrology, but I’m always amazed how accurate my horoscopes tend to be. I love to go camping, hiking and just being out in nature. My husband does not. I think we’ve been camping once since we got married. This is something we definitely need to work on! My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and on Thursday we will have been together for 9 years. Where did the time go?!…Continue reading Very Inspiring Blogger Award
4 Years
Today is the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost Holdon. It’s hard to believe it’s been 4 years because it feels like it was just yesterday to me. On this day, I don’t really have too much to say except I miss you Holdon. Every single day of those 4 years, you have been missed. Mommy and Daddy love you, always and forever <3 Below is my post from Holdon’s 4th birthday on April 6th. I wanted to re-post it today in his memory. You will never be forgotten Holdon <3 [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYI-16QeX54&w=560&h=315] View video in YouTube: In Loving Memory of Our Son Holdon – YouTube. On April 6th, 2010 at 1:38 PM, our son Holdon was born 3 months early due to a dangerous pregnancy condition called HELLP Syndrome, a variant of preeclampsia. He lived for 3 ½ months in the NICU. We named him Holdon with a second “o” so it would spell “hold on”, and he did. He held on every day of his precious life. He fought so hard, but in the end it was too much. On July 14th, 2010, we were told there was nothing more the doctors could…Continue reading 4 Years
16 Weeks
We’re 16 Weeks pregnant today! I’m super excited, but have also been feeling pretty awful today. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling pretty nauseous, and it has lasted most of day. I’m feeling a bit better tonight, thank goodness. I have no idea where this came from, but guess nausea can still happen in the second trimester. I am not complaining, but that will teach me for feeling nervous that the nausea had subsided and being worried that I was feeling too good! Anyway, now for my 16 Week progress report… How far along? 16 Weeks Total weight gain? 3 lbs Maternity clothes? I’m kind of 50/50 on this. I’m wearing some maternity tops, but still getting away with regular clothes for the most part. Yoga pants/shorts, leggings, and jersey skirts and dresses are definitely my go to clothes right now 🙂 I was still able to button my jeans the last time I tried them on, but that was about 2 weeks ago. I have a feeling I’ll need my belly band for those now until I’m really ready for maternity jeans. Stretch marks? Not yet. I’ve adapted/perfected my homemade belly butter recipe…Continue reading 16 Weeks
15 Weeks 3 Days
First of all, thank you everyone for all your kind words and support over my last post. I was really in a funk about the anniversary of Holdon’s death coming up on July 20th and feeling kind of down, but I’m doing so much better today. I’m sure this Sunday is still going to be pretty hard, but I’m feeling much better about the day now then I was last weekend. Okay, now for a quick update on today’s doctor appointment. Feel free to sign off here if pregnancy updates are too hard to read right now. ***Pregnancy Update Below*** We had our regular followup appointment with Dr. S. today and it went really well! After a brief conversation about how we’re doing, she got down to business and did an ultrasound and all is good with baby 🙂 I was so relieved! I had managed to work myself up into quite a ball of worry again, and felt the tension leave my body as soon as our little guy came up on the screen. He is so big and really active! Dr. S asked me if I was feeling any movement yet because he was really moving…Continue reading 15 Weeks 3 Days
One Year Anniversary of Blogging
Last night I got this message from WordPress: I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I first began this blog and all that has happened. Naturally, getting this message from WordPress caused me to reflect on things a bit… Exactly one year ago, I had just suffered my fourth lost in three years. We were mourning the death of my infant son due to prematurity as a result of HELLP Syndrome, followed by 3 back to back miscarriages. I had hit an all time low and was tired of living in silence about it. I was about to embark on IVF and PGD to test our embryos in hopes of preventing another loss, and also just days after that first post, I had the 3 year anniversary of Holdon’s death to deal with. To say I was in a really bad place at that time, is a bit of an understatement. Little did I know that in the next year, our journey with IVF with PGD would fail and while I don’t regret doing it, it was a lot of money for nothing in the end; then we’d cautiously start trying on our own again, only to…Continue reading One Year Anniversary of Blogging
Quick Update: 14 Weeks 4 Days
I don’t have that much new to report on, but just wanted to let you all know I’m still here and doing okay. I’m 14 Weeks 4 Days pregnant today. It’s so hard to believe I’ve made it this far! So far all is going well. I’m feeling a lot more like myself these days. I’m still feeling a bit dizzy and light headed, but it’s not as often as a couple weeks ago. The nausea is mostly gone now too. Other than the occasional headache, I’m feeling pretty good these days. Which of course terrifies me! I know this is normal for the second trimester, but it’s hard not to worry. My last scan was at 11W4D. I think I’ll feel better after my next OB appt and scan on Tuesday. I hate that I’m still living from appointment to appointment right now and wonder when and if I’ll ever let go and really relax, but it’s just so hard. Tuesday can’t come soon enough! In other news, tarakay21.wordpress.com and myperfectbreakdown.com, the bloggers I invited to participate in the blog hop, posted their blog hop posts this week. If you haven’t had a chance to read them yet, check…Continue reading Quick Update: 14 Weeks 4 Days
Blog Hop: Women Writing
A good friend of mine, Judith from juicygreenmom.ca, asked me to participate in a Blog Hop that features new women writers and celebrates why we are writing across all blog communities and genres. When she first asked me, I was a little surprised because I have never really considered myself a writer. I write, but am I a writer? If you asked me, I would have said my husband is the writer in our household, not me. He doesn’t write professionally, but has been working on several writing projects for the past few years that we hope he’ll publish one day. If you’ve read my husband’s short story, Holdon’s Story, titled “Press Play”, about our son’s short life, I think you will all agree that my husband has a rare gift for the written word. But this post isn’t about my husband the writer, it’s about me and why I began writing. I’m a visual artist, and historically I’ve always turned to my sketchbook or canvas to let my emotions and thoughts out. It wasn’t until I lost my son that I turned to writing. In 2010, I had to deliver my son early due to HELLP Syndrome (to read…Continue reading Blog Hop: Women Writing